Jawa Ngapak VS Karyawan KFC

Sebuah cerita orang
Purwokerto asli banyumasan
menelfon KFC untuk memesan,
berikut ceritanya :

Telfon Pertama
Tuyem : halloo...Kaepsi?
KFC : iya, ada yg bisa di bantu?
Tuyem : ayame ana apa ora?

KFC : oh ada
Tuyem : jajal gawa mrene, di
adu karo ayame inyong!
KFC. : X_X

Telfon Kedua
Tuyem : hallooo...kaepsi?
KFC : iya
Tuyem : delivery order?
KFC : iya
Tuyem : 24jam?
KFC : iya
Tuyem : Oooh hebat ya, kowe
ora tau turu!
KFC : :(

Telfon Ketiga
Tuyem : hallooo...kaepsi?
KFC : iya...
Tuyem : ayam ana?
KFC : ada
Tuyem : sega?
KFC : ada
Tuyem : es krim?
KFC : ada
Tuyem : burger?
KFC : ada! banyak! komplit!!
(bakule nesu )
Tuyem : esih ana kabeh? ora
payu apa!! =))
KFC : X_X

Telfon Keempat
Tuyem : hallooo.. Kaepsi?
KFC : kowe maning! arep
ngledek maning apa!
Tuyem : woi inyong arep
pesen! ya wis, inyong ora sida
pesen lah!
KFC : oh iya! mau pesen apa?
Tuyem : soto sokaraja baen
seporsi !!! :D
KFC : guoblok temen kowe...!!

Telfon Kelima
Tuyem : hallooo..kaepsi??
KFC. : mesti kowe maning, arep
ngapa kowe?
Tuyem : arep pesen ayam!

KFC. : oh iya! Apa lagi?
Tuyem : ayam karo sega! tapi
mbungkuse dipisah baen yak?
Mengko nek di dadekna siji, segane
entong dithotholi ayame

KFC. : wooooi wong edan! tak
tempiling sisan kowe

Cerita Lucu Bahasa Jawa Ngapak

Restoran Indonesia

Wis ana sewulan DAPLUN karo
bendarane nang Amrik, bareng
weruh ana restoran 'masakan
Indonesia', wong sekloron
mlebu trus njagong adep2an.
Pelayane ROBOT nyedeki karo
takon

R : what is your nationality
D : Indonesia
SECARA OTOMATIS ROBOT
MERESET BAHASANYA.
R : selamat datang, apa bahasa
suku anda
D : banyumas, jawa tengah
R : sugeng siang, rika arep
pesen apa
D : ana pecel, mendoan, dage
karo wedang clebek apa ora
R : ana, garep pesen pirang
porsi
D : rong porsi baen
R : porsi gede apa porsi cilik
D : porsi gede
R : lomboke pira
D : sing siji lomboke 2, sijine
lomboke 5
R : lombok cengis apa abang
D : lombok cengis kena abang
kena
R : nganggo kangkung
D : ya
R : nganggo timun
D : ya
R : nanggo kol
D ; ya
R : kol lokal apa sekang
wonosobo
D : sekarepmu.!!! (daplun mulai
kesuh)
R : kacange diulek apa di
blender
D : diuleg.. goblog.!!! Karo
menteleng
R : nganggo brambang goreng
apa ora
D : nganggo. asu.!! (daplun
nggentak seru pisan)
R : nganggo piring apa
dipincuk
D : nganggo piring.!!
R : mendoan karo dage
digoreng nganggo margarin
apa lenga klentik
D : nganggo jlantah.. wedhus.!!
(daplun nggebrak meja, jengkel
banget wis 10 menit kok mung
ditakoni baen)
Robot meneng lampu matane
kerlob2 byar pet kayane lagi
mroses pesenane sendur, kira2
rong menitan robote moni
maning
R : kesuwun banget, pesenane
rika wis tek tampa, tapi
ngapura ya pesenane ora bisa
disuguhna
D : kenang apa sih, nyong wis
kencot banget setengah jam
mung tanya jawab tok
R : anu, asu karo wedhus sing
goblok digoleti ora ketemu
neng meta data, eh malah
cempuleke wis nang ngarepe
nyong
D : munyuk temenan kowe
bisa2 nyong dadi kenthir,
mayuh bendarane madang
nang restoran liyane baen....!

Bobodoran Bahasa Sunda

Bahasa Sunda itu jauh lebih
mudah daripada bahasa Inggris
buktinya:

1. Inggris = Spending a lot of
time with doing nothing
Sunda = Ngajedog

2. Got hit by a truck that is
moving backward
Sunda = Katabrak treuk

3. Talk too much about
unimportant things
Sunda = Ngacapruk

4. Fall backward and then hit
own head
Sunda = Ngajengkang

5. Falling forward and may hit
own face
Sunda = Tikusruk

6. A small sharp thing,
embedded inside one finger's skin
Sunda = Kasura

7. Have much less knowledge
Sunda = Belegug

8. A little chair made from
woods
Sunda = Jojodog

9. People who always annoy
other people
Sunda = Si kehed

10. Man or woman who has an
ugly face
Sunda = Goreng patut

11. Just take rest but didn't
sleep
Sunda = Gogoleran

12. Meals made from rice which
is covering by banana leaf and
have much of surprise inside
Sunda = Leupeut

13. The situation when your
brain need more oxygen
Sunda: Heuay

14. A woman who have
hillarious body like a Spain guitar
Sunda = Bahenol

15. People who have thought
more mature than her age
Sunda: Kokolot begog

16. A Type of People Who Have
a Long Chin
Sunda: Cameuh

17. A something that can
radiate the sparkling light
Sunda: Buricak Burinong

18. A very small plate, usually
used for pad of coffee cup
Sunda: Pisin

19. There's a little something
disgusting in your eyes
Sunda: Cileuh

20. That moment when you
walking after the rain and mud
is splattered on your shoes
Sunda: Jeblog

Lihat ! Bahasa Sunda mah
gampang kan!

Cerita Humor Bahasa Jawa Ngapak

Ana singkatan, ana arti basa
Inggris, ana ana bae. #lho

Wis lah ora usah kakehan
cangkem, kiye di waca
neng ngisor.

Gemblungan : Sarapan
( asal kata sekang
gemblung = sarap ).
Mudeng ora?? Keplak sisan
nek ora mudeng. #lho

Love is crazy : Pacaran karo
wong gemblung (ana sing
gelem??)

Love is blind : Pacaran karo
tukang pijet ( blind : buta,
picek. Wong picek : tukang pijet)

Long Distance Relationship :
Pacaran karo Meteran.

Leave me alone : Lagi Ngising. ( Aja di ganggu )

HTS : Hubungan Tanpa Sempak
(enak adem.. silir)

TTM : Temen Tapi Mbayar
( Wani pira??? )

PSSI : Persatuan Sepakbola Sekarepe Inyong
( mbuh kae pada kakehan
karep, ora maju- maju
dadine lah bal-balane)

DPR : Dadi Pada Ruag.
(Wonge pada mikiri awake
dhewek tok, rakyate ora di
urusi lah) (ora kabeh sih)

Idola : Ireng Dower Ala.

Artis : Arep Tilik pipiS.
(tukang ngintip, malah ana
bintang bokep *ups*)

Aktor : Anune Keton koTor
( kaya videone.. Ah wis lah..)

Miss Understanding :
Bencong
(miss : wadon, under :
ngisore, standing : ngadeg
--> wong wadon sing
"ngisore" ngadeg)

In the KEN to the COT at the
BAD on the DOG : KENCOT MBADOG

Broken Heart : Ati di tugel-tugel ( Di cacag karo peso,
arep gawe sambel ati
ndean. Enak kayane )

Falling in Love : Tresna
gelem nyemplung jurang *plung*

Cinta Terlarang : Tresna
Paling Larang (regane
larang pisan, anu semilyar
trilyun ndean yah??)
Yunomisowell : Rika ngerti
lah nyong kuwe ala. #lho
(jujur banget)

Still loving you : Esih tresna
karo kowe >> lanang
(maho) *apanjajal*

Ngalkun : Kowe pada ngerti
monine kalkun?? cl*k icl*k
kicl*k.. Nah dadi Ngalkun
kuwe?? ( ngerti dhewek )
sabun-sabun...!